I am sorry I have not been able to keep up very well with posting! Life is so full with the every day things that my few hours to get them done seems lacking. Just the laundry and the kitchen and making the bed and keeping up with the few phone calls I make and the emails (I'm way behind on that one!), it all keeps my busy and that's a good thing!
For years, I have evolved into feeling like "living" is my job. Just waking up and doing the routine things I do every day, that is my job each day. And I love it. Do you feel that way too, those of you who are disabled?
Thank you to those who leave comments! I really do love getting those comments.
A few months ago, I gave up being a moderator at Chiari Connection International. I loved doing it and loved the people I was involved with. But I noticed that I was spending about 3 hours a day with CCI and other message board stuff, and then having a hard time finding the energy and time to call my Mom. She is 86 now, and lives 3000 miles away, so I need to focus on those family things for awhile.
We just got back from a quick trip to California to see our son. What a blessing we experienced there! We are now thinking ahead to the Fall and perhaps being able to use Sky Miles and taking our son to Alaska with us this year. There is so much "aviation" up there and that is what his career is, where his knowledge and experience lie, so we know he'd love it up there as much as we do.
While in California, we spent some time with the Elephant Seals that are almost always resting on the beaches near San Simeon. Since we used to live not far from there, we have spent a lot of time with these enamoring animals. They seem to radiate a warm peace that affects everyone who goes to see them. I mentioned to my son that the fresh, brisk breeze and watching the seals seems to bring a sense of euphoria to my brain, and he agreed, it does the same for him!
About my health, it remains the same. I last posted that Kadlec Neuroscience Center in Richland, WA turned me down due to my out-of-state workers' compensation insurance. So, I next asked for authorization to be seen by a neurosurgeon in Seattle, at Swedish Hospital. Dr. O has done surgery on a few patients who had previously been Chiari Institute patients. And the feedback has been very favorable.
My insurance responded quickly with a "yes," and then Dr. O's office has requested a new cervical MRI before they set me up with a consult appointment. The MRI will be March 23. I am anxious to be seen by Dr. O and to hear his feedback.
I am wondering if any of my readers experience the same dilemma that I feel right now. The world seems to be in such chaos! Since I am a born-again Christian and believe the prophecy in His Word, I naturally wonder if all of this turmoil is a precursor to the end of the World...to Jesus' second coming. I know that each generation experiences such worldwide havoc. I sometimes think and wonder how it must have felt to be alive during the Second World War, and seeing war being fought valiantly on two fronts, the Pacific and European theater.
To see the atrocities of concentration camps; the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki; the terror of brutal dictators, must have made many believers at that time wonder themselves if this was "it." The time that all prophecy points to in the Bible.
The Bible tells us that no man will ever know the date of His coming. Not even the angels know. But we will know the seasons, just as surely as we know that Fall has arrived when we see the leaves falling from the trees.
In the shadow of world events, I wonder: do I want to go through with an intense surgery that will demand a rugged recovery?
Perhaps the reader thinks this is simplistic or foolish, but remember, the Bible also tells us that the ways of God ARE foolishness to the world.
It's difficult and challenging, isn't it, to listen to our hearts and instincts and also our knowledge of God and our every day experiences and then make a BIG decision.
Sometimes, the way is not so clear. Please help me pray that the way WILL be made clear in the choice of having surgery or not (If it is offered. I have asked God to help me by having this new neurosurgeon refuse to see me IF it's not God's will that I have the surgery. After all, Kadlec refused me. The doctor at The Chiari Institute refused me. Perhaps I'm missing all the road signs!).
My husband and I are planning to plant a big vegetable garden this year. Maybe "big" is a relative term here, as I'm sure we will not be planting anything BIG, just something larger than we've done to this point on this property. I am guessing that we all are, in large and small ways, wanting to feather our nests, batten down the hatches and hold down the fort!
However, the most important thing we must do is to be sure of our relationship with our Creator. We can have the basement full of foods and lots of money stored under the mattress; we may can and freeze and dehydrate and "put by," but it all can be gone in the blink of an eye. We are told in God's Holy Word to "lay not up our treasures on earth where moth and rust doth corrupt and thieves break in to steal, but instead lay up your treasures in Heaven." (Matthew 6:19-20)
Now is the time to be sure of your salvation, which floats within your reach in the form of everlasting life and forgiveness with Jesus Christ. Just as you must "make hay while the sun shines," you must make this big decision BEFORE you die and face His judgment. Now is the expected day of salvation, His word tells us: "Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation" (2 Cor. 6:1-2).
We may wonder what is happening spiritually within the world. We may ask ourselves, is this the time, are these the signs of the end of the world? We may feel a bit confused about it all and wish for more clarity.
But the verse above, from 2nd Corinthians, leaves no room to waver on interpretation. NOW is the day of salvation! If you have not done so, won't you pray with me as you read this?
"Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today with a broken heart. I know that something is missing in my life. I know that when I try to take over, I mess things up. I know I need help.
I know I have sinned, as all people have sinned. And I know those sins are a wall between You and me. I want a relationship with You. I want to know more about You! I want to feel confident about where I stand with You. I want to know where I will go when I die, when I pass from this brief life into the presence of Almighty God.
So, right now, I give You my life. I give You all of my heart and I ask you to come into my life and heart and to reside with me, as Master and Savior. Please, forgive me of my sins and make me whole and clean.
I don't know much about doctrine or even much what the Bible says, but I do believe with all of my heart that You died on the cross for MY sins. If I'd been the only person in the world, You still would have died on that cross for me alone. So that I could dwell with You for ever, in heaven and on earth.
Please, Jesus, come to me and be my Savior. Save me from the chaos of this world. When I hear the news reports of earthquakes, tsunamis, political turmoil, uprisings, bombings, terrorism, deaths of loved ones and divorces between friends, oh, please God, place in my heart and mind a confidence that those things are only temporary, but I stand "right and sure" before You and here on earth because I have prayed this prayer today.
In Jesus' Name, AMEN."
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
well...
...the long and winding road....
As I'd written here before, I felt really good about going to Kadlec Neuroscience Center, only 2.5 hours from me. However, yesterday, I received a call letting me know they will not accept my out-of-state, workers' compensation insurance.
Sigh...
Used to be, I'd go crashing on the bed in the guest room and cry my eyes out, expressing and releasing my crushing disappointment yet again.
It's been almost 7 years now. Maybe I've learned. Maybe I'm jaded.
I was disappointed, but I shrugged it off, and fell back to Plan X, having exhausted over the years Plan A thru W.
I called Dr. Rod Oskouian's office in Seattle and asked if they would take my insurance. They replied that they would.
So, now my primary must re-contact my insurance case manager and ask for a new authorization, this time to Swedish Medical Center in Seattle. Then they must copy reports again and fax or mail them off to Dr. Oskouian's office. From there...hopefully I'll get a consult.
It's a six hour drive to Seattle but it's okay. I really "feel" right about surgery. I haven't felt like this in a couple of years, since I was dumped by my previous neurosurgeon.
I'll keep you posted!
Thanks, Dear Reader!
As I'd written here before, I felt really good about going to Kadlec Neuroscience Center, only 2.5 hours from me. However, yesterday, I received a call letting me know they will not accept my out-of-state, workers' compensation insurance.
Sigh...
Used to be, I'd go crashing on the bed in the guest room and cry my eyes out, expressing and releasing my crushing disappointment yet again.
It's been almost 7 years now. Maybe I've learned. Maybe I'm jaded.
I was disappointed, but I shrugged it off, and fell back to Plan X, having exhausted over the years Plan A thru W.
I called Dr. Rod Oskouian's office in Seattle and asked if they would take my insurance. They replied that they would.
So, now my primary must re-contact my insurance case manager and ask for a new authorization, this time to Swedish Medical Center in Seattle. Then they must copy reports again and fax or mail them off to Dr. Oskouian's office. From there...hopefully I'll get a consult.
It's a six hour drive to Seattle but it's okay. I really "feel" right about surgery. I haven't felt like this in a couple of years, since I was dumped by my previous neurosurgeon.
I'll keep you posted!
Thanks, Dear Reader!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Timeline
I am constantly thinking these days of the new neurosurgeon I hope to go see...and soon! I asked my primary to refer me to Kadlec Neuroscience Center in Richland, WA. I have not heard anything about this place, not talked with anyone who has gone there, but I saw their ad, and I just had a feeling that this could be THE place.
In preparation for my first consult there, I thought I should create a timeline for the doctors, showing the high points of my medical history for the last six plus years. I thought I'd post that here.
******************************************************************************
TIMELINE FROM DATE OF INJURY TO PRESENT
April 4, 2004 -- injury incurred while training jumping horse. Fell onto (helmeted) head and, at emergency room, was diagnosed with 4 place fracture of the C1. I was 52.
April 4-12, 2004....hospital stay. No surgery or other treatment. Sent home with semi-rigid collar and told to return for follow up in 30 days. Also told to
remove collar in 8 weeks.
September, 2004... After being told by my neurosurgeon (no surgery had been done) that my C1 had healed "straight and fine" many times, I asked to go back to work (training horses). I was allowed back to work.
After a couple of months, however, I noticed that my symptoms were much worse after riding or working (ranch work). I also noticed I had to stay in bed for several days after a gentle horseback ride, due to the diffuse weakness, pain and nausea.
Winter, 2004... I asked to be put back on temporary partial disability and proceeded to try to work at my own pace.
Since my symptoms continued to worsen in spite of being told my C1 had healed "straight and fine," I began to wonder if I had a congenital problem that the injury had riled up. When I went online, the symptoms associated with Chiari Malformation seemed close to what I was dealing with.
April, 2005... I was seen by the Chiari expert at UCLA in CA. He told me I did not have Chiari, that I was "lucky to be alive. Get off the internet and get on with your life."
My condition continued to worsen. I was not able to do much work at all and entirely unable to enjoy hobbies or life outside of work. I began to visit with the neurosurgeon at a Chiari center in N.Y. online via email.The neurosurgeon felt that I probably had cranio-cervical instability (vis a vis a traction test he had me do at home, approved by my primary treating physician).
January, 2007.... I traveled to NY for a consult. From a fine-cut CT, the surgeon found that I still had a very large break in the C1 (3 years post injury). "You are walking around with a broken neck," he said.
From my list of symptoms, from in-office testing and from new imaging of the lower spine, he diagnosed me with occult tethered cord. He felt the injury caused the OTC to become symptomatic. It was also practice at that facility to cut/release the filum terminale (if suspected to be too tight) before their "extraction" craniocervical fusion.
November, 2007.... I traveled back to NY. I underwent the "Invasive Cervical Traction," where the skull base area is examined via CT while under 45 lbs (in my case) of traction. From this test, I was told by the chief of neurosurgery that when I suffered the Jefferson Fracture in 2004, I also had suffered dislocation of the occipital condyles (the skull broke loose from the spine/C1). I was told my skull had fused itself back but at a wrong angle, slightly down and to the right.
I also was told by this neurosurgeon that I "have A chiari but not Chiari." I understood him to mean that I have low-lying cerebellar tonsils, but not Chiari Malformation. This was confirmed later by the first neurosurgeon I saw there.
The next day, I underwent surgery for the tethered cord. During this surgery, it was found that I had 2 dural ectasias (of significant size and weeping CSF) and a very large mass of arachnoid adhesions.
According to the OR report, these were dissected to reach the filum, and the dural ectasias repaired.
The plan was set for me to return in a month to undergo the CC fusion. However, because I had mild osteoporosis, my neurosurgeon felt I should undergo 12 months of some sort of bone-enhancing" therapy to strengthen the bones before fusion.
Therefore, I underwent 6 months of pamidronate treatment (IV) at The ______ Cancer Center. Even before I had these treatments, my osteoporosis had been downgraded to moderate osteopenia.
After that, I did six months of daily injection of Forteo, again to strengthen my bones. This was prescribed by a hematologist at OHSU, where I had been referred by my local hematologist.
My hematologist finally said that he felt my bones were good enough for a fusion surgery.
June, 2009...I was scheduled for the fusion surgery in NY. However, at the time I went there, this center was experiencing some problems which ended with my surgeon no longer being allowed to perform surgery until the procedure is first approved by a hospital review board. The review board did not approve my fusion surgery. I was told that my C1 had "spontaneously healed" because of all the pamidronate treatments and I was no longer unstable and, therefore, did not need a fusion.
When I came back to WA, I went to visit my hematologist in Portland (OR). I told him what I had been told, that my C1 had "spontaneously healed." He told me that just does not happen. Non-union bones do not suddenly fuse themselves after four years.
November, 2009... I decided to seek another opinion. I went to see a neurosurgeon at a large hospital in Portland. I had many tests done there, and the neurosurgeon told me that the neurosurgical team went over my imaging. He showed me where my C1 is still non-union in 2 or 3 places. He stated they wanted me to have the fusion surgery. I thought about it for some time, but finally concluded to myself that there was something that did not quite "fit" for me and and that surgeon/facility. It might have just been "me." Whatever it was, I decided not to pursue a fusion.
From about February, 2010 until January 2011, I had made up my mind not to pursue a fusion. However, my symptoms have worsened and worsened. I began to feel once again that I would like to find a capable yet friendly neurosurgeon who would not mind giving me all the information I need about a surgery, and hopefully he would offer me a stabilization surgery.
I saw the ad for Kadlec Neuroscience Center in the Oregonian and that is why I have come for a consult today.
In preparation for my first consult there, I thought I should create a timeline for the doctors, showing the high points of my medical history for the last six plus years. I thought I'd post that here.
******************************************************************************
TIMELINE FROM DATE OF INJURY TO PRESENT
April 4, 2004 -- injury incurred while training jumping horse. Fell onto (helmeted) head and, at emergency room, was diagnosed with 4 place fracture of the C1. I was 52.
April 4-12, 2004....hospital stay. No surgery or other treatment. Sent home with semi-rigid collar and told to return for follow up in 30 days. Also told to
remove collar in 8 weeks.
September, 2004... After being told by my neurosurgeon (no surgery had been done) that my C1 had healed "straight and fine" many times, I asked to go back to work (training horses). I was allowed back to work.
After a couple of months, however, I noticed that my symptoms were much worse after riding or working (ranch work). I also noticed I had to stay in bed for several days after a gentle horseback ride, due to the diffuse weakness, pain and nausea.
Winter, 2004... I asked to be put back on temporary partial disability and proceeded to try to work at my own pace.
Since my symptoms continued to worsen in spite of being told my C1 had healed "straight and fine," I began to wonder if I had a congenital problem that the injury had riled up. When I went online, the symptoms associated with Chiari Malformation seemed close to what I was dealing with.
April, 2005... I was seen by the Chiari expert at UCLA in CA. He told me I did not have Chiari, that I was "lucky to be alive. Get off the internet and get on with your life."
My condition continued to worsen. I was not able to do much work at all and entirely unable to enjoy hobbies or life outside of work. I began to visit with the neurosurgeon at a Chiari center in N.Y. online via email.The neurosurgeon felt that I probably had cranio-cervical instability (vis a vis a traction test he had me do at home, approved by my primary treating physician).
January, 2007.... I traveled to NY for a consult. From a fine-cut CT, the surgeon found that I still had a very large break in the C1 (3 years post injury). "You are walking around with a broken neck," he said.
From my list of symptoms, from in-office testing and from new imaging of the lower spine, he diagnosed me with occult tethered cord. He felt the injury caused the OTC to become symptomatic. It was also practice at that facility to cut/release the filum terminale (if suspected to be too tight) before their "extraction" craniocervical fusion.
November, 2007.... I traveled back to NY. I underwent the "Invasive Cervical Traction," where the skull base area is examined via CT while under 45 lbs (in my case) of traction. From this test, I was told by the chief of neurosurgery that when I suffered the Jefferson Fracture in 2004, I also had suffered dislocation of the occipital condyles (the skull broke loose from the spine/C1). I was told my skull had fused itself back but at a wrong angle, slightly down and to the right.
I also was told by this neurosurgeon that I "have A chiari but not Chiari." I understood him to mean that I have low-lying cerebellar tonsils, but not Chiari Malformation. This was confirmed later by the first neurosurgeon I saw there.
The next day, I underwent surgery for the tethered cord. During this surgery, it was found that I had 2 dural ectasias (of significant size and weeping CSF) and a very large mass of arachnoid adhesions.
According to the OR report, these were dissected to reach the filum, and the dural ectasias repaired.
The plan was set for me to return in a month to undergo the CC fusion. However, because I had mild osteoporosis, my neurosurgeon felt I should undergo 12 months of some sort of bone-enhancing" therapy to strengthen the bones before fusion.
Therefore, I underwent 6 months of pamidronate treatment (IV) at The ______ Cancer Center. Even before I had these treatments, my osteoporosis had been downgraded to moderate osteopenia.
After that, I did six months of daily injection of Forteo, again to strengthen my bones. This was prescribed by a hematologist at OHSU, where I had been referred by my local hematologist.
My hematologist finally said that he felt my bones were good enough for a fusion surgery.
June, 2009...I was scheduled for the fusion surgery in NY. However, at the time I went there, this center was experiencing some problems which ended with my surgeon no longer being allowed to perform surgery until the procedure is first approved by a hospital review board. The review board did not approve my fusion surgery. I was told that my C1 had "spontaneously healed" because of all the pamidronate treatments and I was no longer unstable and, therefore, did not need a fusion.
When I came back to WA, I went to visit my hematologist in Portland (OR). I told him what I had been told, that my C1 had "spontaneously healed." He told me that just does not happen. Non-union bones do not suddenly fuse themselves after four years.
November, 2009... I decided to seek another opinion. I went to see a neurosurgeon at a large hospital in Portland. I had many tests done there, and the neurosurgeon told me that the neurosurgical team went over my imaging. He showed me where my C1 is still non-union in 2 or 3 places. He stated they wanted me to have the fusion surgery. I thought about it for some time, but finally concluded to myself that there was something that did not quite "fit" for me and and that surgeon/facility. It might have just been "me." Whatever it was, I decided not to pursue a fusion.
From about February, 2010 until January 2011, I had made up my mind not to pursue a fusion. However, my symptoms have worsened and worsened. I began to feel once again that I would like to find a capable yet friendly neurosurgeon who would not mind giving me all the information I need about a surgery, and hopefully he would offer me a stabilization surgery.
I saw the ad for Kadlec Neuroscience Center in the Oregonian and that is why I have come for a consult today.
oh, this is not good!
I am in the depths of suffering right now. I filled my prescription yesterday for oxycontin, and this morning when I went to take it, I noticed the pills were different. I took off my glasses and read the label on the bottle: they were oxyCODONE, 15 mg. I didn't take one!
I hate to think what I would have felt like if I had taken my regular 5 mgs of oxycodone PLUS the mistaken 15 mg of oxycodone! (For those who do not know, oxycodone is "immediate release" and oxycontin is oxycodone BUT "extended release."
My usual regimen is 2 oxycontin a day, one in the AM and one at night. Then I take oxycodone throughout the day for breakthrough pain, 5 to 6 per day. This does not take care of the pain completely and some days, I feel awful rough.
But now I can see what good the oxyCONTIN does for me this morning, not having it (at the time of this writing) up to 4 hours late. Oh my! I don't feel withdrawal symptoms so much (such as chills) but I just feel the PAIN that is happening when the oxycontin is covering it up. And oh dear, not good! Now, I understand why people addicted to oxycontin break into pharmacies, quite honestly.
Addiction: this might be a good time to talk about that. No one likes to be addicted. And I do not feel I AM addicted. However, my body IS used to having it. I'm not addicted to the action of getting a glass of water and taking a pill every 3 hours. I do not feel a "high" when I take my meds, so I certainly am not addicted to that! I just am so glad that there are drugs out there that help mask this central pain because this is surely reminding me that I have some severe spinal cord pain happening!
I can't think right now of the word that is used for when your body is used to getting a certain thing (cigarettes, alcohol, coffee, soda, and yes, medication) versus addiction. I have heard over the years and have also read on medical sites that someone who is in pain, real pain, will NOT become addicted to the pain medication. Their bodies are accustomed to having the medication, but the patients themselves are not addicted to that behavior.
I always think that proof of this are the hundreds of people I know and have seen on support groups over the last 5.5 years who are so eager to get off the meds. Everyone I know with central pain wants to be off the meds, and some even go through the process of getting off of them (always having to go back to taking them, however. Short of a miraculous healing, there is nothing natural or herbal that can be done for spinal cord/brain pain. You can't meditate your way out of it).
Well, what has happened this morning is that I called the pharmacy as soon as it opened, speaking with a very kindly pharmacist with an Australian accent (don't we northerners love that accent!). He told me he was not on duty yesterday, but that he would make the switch (take back the oxycodone 15 mgs and give me back the correct oxycontin 15 mg) when I bring it in. I told him, "I live 35 miles away and I do not drive. I can't get there today. Could you have a courier bring it?"
Right now, I'm waiting for the taxi driver to bring the correct meds. Great idea they had, hiring a cab to bring it out here. I've taped the top/cap of the wrong med and put it back into its original pharmacy bag, stapling the top. This was a request from the pharmacist so they know they are getting the full 90 back.
The druggist said, "If it's any consolation, the pharmacist yesterday, his daughter was in labor having his grandchild. But I'm so sorry you've had to go through this!"
I replied: "That's okay. It's simple human error. No bad was intended. I'd hate to have to pay for every mistake I've ever made. I'll probably be just fine as soon as the right med gets here."
He said, "Yes, I will, too!"
Litigation: Of course, your mind goes to "should I call a lawyer and sue this place for this error that is causing me so much pain?" After all, it is a big, national chain of a place.
However, I'm not that kind of person. I can't take credit for it, I just am not wired that way. If I ended up in the hospital and suffering for a long time or whatever, then I'd certainly consider making someone pay the damages for their error. But, if I just suffer for one morning, and all is fine as soon as the meds arrive, I just can't even begin to consider suing anyone.
As I said to the Aussie pharmacist, "I'd hate to have to pay for every mistake I ever made!"
Bottom line: When you open a new bottle of meds, do NOT take them if they look differently. Even if the label says the right med, if the pills look even just a little bit different, don't take one! Call the pharmacy and talk to the druggist. Call your doctor if you need to. You might find that a different company is making the drug you take, and thus the pills are differently colored or shaped. If this is the case, then that is fine.
Another lesson: if this ever happens to you, if you live far from the pharmacy, then ask firmly for them to deliver the meds as soon as possible. I think they will do it, their butt and reputation are on the line. In my case, the pharmacy folks were wonderful.
Sigh...taxi is not here yet. I'm waiting!
I hate to think what I would have felt like if I had taken my regular 5 mgs of oxycodone PLUS the mistaken 15 mg of oxycodone! (For those who do not know, oxycodone is "immediate release" and oxycontin is oxycodone BUT "extended release."
My usual regimen is 2 oxycontin a day, one in the AM and one at night. Then I take oxycodone throughout the day for breakthrough pain, 5 to 6 per day. This does not take care of the pain completely and some days, I feel awful rough.
But now I can see what good the oxyCONTIN does for me this morning, not having it (at the time of this writing) up to 4 hours late. Oh my! I don't feel withdrawal symptoms so much (such as chills) but I just feel the PAIN that is happening when the oxycontin is covering it up. And oh dear, not good! Now, I understand why people addicted to oxycontin break into pharmacies, quite honestly.
Addiction: this might be a good time to talk about that. No one likes to be addicted. And I do not feel I AM addicted. However, my body IS used to having it. I'm not addicted to the action of getting a glass of water and taking a pill every 3 hours. I do not feel a "high" when I take my meds, so I certainly am not addicted to that! I just am so glad that there are drugs out there that help mask this central pain because this is surely reminding me that I have some severe spinal cord pain happening!
I can't think right now of the word that is used for when your body is used to getting a certain thing (cigarettes, alcohol, coffee, soda, and yes, medication) versus addiction. I have heard over the years and have also read on medical sites that someone who is in pain, real pain, will NOT become addicted to the pain medication. Their bodies are accustomed to having the medication, but the patients themselves are not addicted to that behavior.
I always think that proof of this are the hundreds of people I know and have seen on support groups over the last 5.5 years who are so eager to get off the meds. Everyone I know with central pain wants to be off the meds, and some even go through the process of getting off of them (always having to go back to taking them, however. Short of a miraculous healing, there is nothing natural or herbal that can be done for spinal cord/brain pain. You can't meditate your way out of it).
Well, what has happened this morning is that I called the pharmacy as soon as it opened, speaking with a very kindly pharmacist with an Australian accent (don't we northerners love that accent!). He told me he was not on duty yesterday, but that he would make the switch (take back the oxycodone 15 mgs and give me back the correct oxycontin 15 mg) when I bring it in. I told him, "I live 35 miles away and I do not drive. I can't get there today. Could you have a courier bring it?"
Right now, I'm waiting for the taxi driver to bring the correct meds. Great idea they had, hiring a cab to bring it out here. I've taped the top/cap of the wrong med and put it back into its original pharmacy bag, stapling the top. This was a request from the pharmacist so they know they are getting the full 90 back.
The druggist said, "If it's any consolation, the pharmacist yesterday, his daughter was in labor having his grandchild. But I'm so sorry you've had to go through this!"
I replied: "That's okay. It's simple human error. No bad was intended. I'd hate to have to pay for every mistake I've ever made. I'll probably be just fine as soon as the right med gets here."
He said, "Yes, I will, too!"
Litigation: Of course, your mind goes to "should I call a lawyer and sue this place for this error that is causing me so much pain?" After all, it is a big, national chain of a place.
However, I'm not that kind of person. I can't take credit for it, I just am not wired that way. If I ended up in the hospital and suffering for a long time or whatever, then I'd certainly consider making someone pay the damages for their error. But, if I just suffer for one morning, and all is fine as soon as the meds arrive, I just can't even begin to consider suing anyone.
As I said to the Aussie pharmacist, "I'd hate to have to pay for every mistake I ever made!"
Bottom line: When you open a new bottle of meds, do NOT take them if they look differently. Even if the label says the right med, if the pills look even just a little bit different, don't take one! Call the pharmacy and talk to the druggist. Call your doctor if you need to. You might find that a different company is making the drug you take, and thus the pills are differently colored or shaped. If this is the case, then that is fine.
Another lesson: if this ever happens to you, if you live far from the pharmacy, then ask firmly for them to deliver the meds as soon as possible. I think they will do it, their butt and reputation are on the line. In my case, the pharmacy folks were wonderful.
Sigh...taxi is not here yet. I'm waiting!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Compulsive List Making
If you think about it, you can create lists and notes and cross-references to infinity, to the nth degree.
I have a compulsion to make lists. But not just lists of things I need to do, I do make those lists but then I re-list the lists in sub-categories, such as: "Things I must do tomorrow," and then I relist the items in the order of priority. I cross reference things into a notebook I use under letters of the alphabet. Insurance, under I, will say, "see The Hartford" or "see Simcoe" (a local insurance company).
I keep all of my lists in my notebook I call my "working memory," and even tho I rewrite my lists, I enjoy going back to several different pages crossing off ONE thing I've accomplished on several pages. It makes me feel like I've achieved more than I have!
And "cross off things done on list" is on my list too!
I've been overwhelmed with paperwork and desk work and computer work for the last two months. I've had to research and select and arrange our auto insurance; our health insurance (we are dropping our Medicare Advantage plan because they stopped offering it in our area and because, with Obama-care, the premium went up over 100%. We are now on just original Medicare with a drug plan); our homeowner's insurance and our re-finance; and many other clerical things.
Clerical type things make my brain burn. I also in that time period wrote an article about our neighbor (with her blessings!) for a magazine, so there was that pressure to do it right and get it done on deadline.
I hate every single thing that has to do with my left brain. My injury was on the left side (I know because I still have the helmet with the divet in the felt showing where I laned on my head) (and I know because the MRIs show the lesions on the left brain).
I LOVE the right brain, the creative side. Mindlessly painting a wall or a door; cooking and baking; drawing; gardening, you get the drift.
Making phone calls; figuring out how something works; learning some new task (like how the new FoodSaver works) is all daunting to me.
And I keep these lists because I have anxiety that I will forget if I don't write it down. And my speech therapist back six years ago told me to make lists because if I didn't write it down, my brain would loop thoughts of it trying to hold onto it in my memory. I could let it go if I wrote it down.
I keep a list in my notebook-working memory. I write a list down on my calendar block saying what I did today. When I ordered something, joined something, sent away for something.
I have various file boxes, more than I can count without looking. I just organized a new expandable file with insurance and mortgage information. It's good to be organized and know where to find things. Oh that reminds me, I have a list of "where things are stored," but I can never remember where THAT LIST is STORED!
Problems with thinking plague me as I muddle my way through. Today, I had to call the auto insurance company. THANKfully, I got a nice man with a clear voice, easy to understand. I started off with my caveat: "I suffered a fall onto my head and have some trouble with thinking and understanding. I may ask you to repeat things and ask you to wait while I take notes on what you just said. I hope you understand."
I laughingly told him an example: I was reading all of this material sent to me by the insurance company, and it kept referring to "the covered vehicle." Each time I read that, I seriously thought it meant the car we keep in the garage, because, since it is in the garage, it is COVERED. A couple of hours later, it dawned on me: Oh, it doesn't mean our car in the garage, it means the car covered by their insurance! Oh yeah!
I always have trouble with nouns, the names of things. I know I have many readers who also have this funny symptom. Today, I was wanting to mention something about an envelope and ended up mentioning an elephant. This can really be entertaining at times!
I know my list making is compulsive because, in June, 2004, I started seeing a physiatrist as my primary-treating-physician for my work-related injury. Dr. R was funny, telling jokes all the time, a lot of fun. I felt the need to give to him each time I saw him (even if it was every two weeks or every month) a list of my symptoms. This list, typed, was always a page and a half long. It got to where I would give the list to him, and he'd say, "You know, there's a name for this, it's a mental illness called OCD, all of this list-making."
That made me feel rejected and judged. But I just told him back, "I don't care if you don't read them. I just don't want you to ever say I didn't tell you about such-and-such symptom someday!" I think that kinda put him back into his place, and he realised he better pay attention.
I have a compulsion to make lists. But not just lists of things I need to do, I do make those lists but then I re-list the lists in sub-categories, such as: "Things I must do tomorrow," and then I relist the items in the order of priority. I cross reference things into a notebook I use under letters of the alphabet. Insurance, under I, will say, "see The Hartford" or "see Simcoe" (a local insurance company).
I keep all of my lists in my notebook I call my "working memory," and even tho I rewrite my lists, I enjoy going back to several different pages crossing off ONE thing I've accomplished on several pages. It makes me feel like I've achieved more than I have!
And "cross off things done on list" is on my list too!
I've been overwhelmed with paperwork and desk work and computer work for the last two months. I've had to research and select and arrange our auto insurance; our health insurance (we are dropping our Medicare Advantage plan because they stopped offering it in our area and because, with Obama-care, the premium went up over 100%. We are now on just original Medicare with a drug plan); our homeowner's insurance and our re-finance; and many other clerical things.
Clerical type things make my brain burn. I also in that time period wrote an article about our neighbor (with her blessings!) for a magazine, so there was that pressure to do it right and get it done on deadline.
I hate every single thing that has to do with my left brain. My injury was on the left side (I know because I still have the helmet with the divet in the felt showing where I laned on my head) (and I know because the MRIs show the lesions on the left brain).
I LOVE the right brain, the creative side. Mindlessly painting a wall or a door; cooking and baking; drawing; gardening, you get the drift.
Making phone calls; figuring out how something works; learning some new task (like how the new FoodSaver works) is all daunting to me.
And I keep these lists because I have anxiety that I will forget if I don't write it down. And my speech therapist back six years ago told me to make lists because if I didn't write it down, my brain would loop thoughts of it trying to hold onto it in my memory. I could let it go if I wrote it down.
I keep a list in my notebook-working memory. I write a list down on my calendar block saying what I did today. When I ordered something, joined something, sent away for something.
I have various file boxes, more than I can count without looking. I just organized a new expandable file with insurance and mortgage information. It's good to be organized and know where to find things. Oh that reminds me, I have a list of "where things are stored," but I can never remember where THAT LIST is STORED!
Problems with thinking plague me as I muddle my way through. Today, I had to call the auto insurance company. THANKfully, I got a nice man with a clear voice, easy to understand. I started off with my caveat: "I suffered a fall onto my head and have some trouble with thinking and understanding. I may ask you to repeat things and ask you to wait while I take notes on what you just said. I hope you understand."
I laughingly told him an example: I was reading all of this material sent to me by the insurance company, and it kept referring to "the covered vehicle." Each time I read that, I seriously thought it meant the car we keep in the garage, because, since it is in the garage, it is COVERED. A couple of hours later, it dawned on me: Oh, it doesn't mean our car in the garage, it means the car covered by their insurance! Oh yeah!
I always have trouble with nouns, the names of things. I know I have many readers who also have this funny symptom. Today, I was wanting to mention something about an envelope and ended up mentioning an elephant. This can really be entertaining at times!
I know my list making is compulsive because, in June, 2004, I started seeing a physiatrist as my primary-treating-physician for my work-related injury. Dr. R was funny, telling jokes all the time, a lot of fun. I felt the need to give to him each time I saw him (even if it was every two weeks or every month) a list of my symptoms. This list, typed, was always a page and a half long. It got to where I would give the list to him, and he'd say, "You know, there's a name for this, it's a mental illness called OCD, all of this list-making."
That made me feel rejected and judged. But I just told him back, "I don't care if you don't read them. I just don't want you to ever say I didn't tell you about such-and-such symptom someday!" I think that kinda put him back into his place, and he realised he better pay attention.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Ginger and Nausea
It pays to have friends who remember things about you and read your blog!
My friend read this blog about nausea and the next thing I knew, I had a small package in the mailbox from her, with two tin boxes of ginger drops! Wow!
And you know what? I'd forgotten how well ginger helps. I have a bottle of ginger ale in my refrigerator that I simply forget is for nausea and I have the spice container of powdered ginger for mixing up with water and ice and a bit of sugar. But, one must REMEMBER to use these things!
One of the brands of ginger drops that sent to me is wonderful. Made by "Newman's Own." They are tasty and comforting to take. I have the tin right beside the bed now and even my husband will take one when he feels that his stomach is upset. They truly 100% work!
The other kind is made by Altoid's and they are HOT. Like fire in the mouth. But they do work. I have that tin in our pickup.
Thank you so much, dear friend! For the tins of ginger drops and for remembering that these exist and work so well! God bless you!
My friend read this blog about nausea and the next thing I knew, I had a small package in the mailbox from her, with two tin boxes of ginger drops! Wow!
And you know what? I'd forgotten how well ginger helps. I have a bottle of ginger ale in my refrigerator that I simply forget is for nausea and I have the spice container of powdered ginger for mixing up with water and ice and a bit of sugar. But, one must REMEMBER to use these things!
One of the brands of ginger drops that sent to me is wonderful. Made by "Newman's Own." They are tasty and comforting to take. I have the tin right beside the bed now and even my husband will take one when he feels that his stomach is upset. They truly 100% work!
The other kind is made by Altoid's and they are HOT. Like fire in the mouth. But they do work. I have that tin in our pickup.
Thank you so much, dear friend! For the tins of ginger drops and for remembering that these exist and work so well! God bless you!
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