On Runnin' Out

So now I know.

I know how badly I need surgery.

I know 2 Tylenol don't help the pain.

I know 3 Advil don't help either.

I know another prescribed pain medication, taken in a double dose, doesn't touch it.

What I didn't know.

I didn't know that my doctor was going to be away from Wednesday night last week until Tuesday morning this week.

I didn't know that I was going to be running a few days short on my pain med of choice, oxycodone.

I didn't know, when the clinic called on Wednesday to ask if I'd mind pushing my doctor appointment out one day, from Monday to Tuesday, that I'd be out of my medication. I readily agreed because, hey, I'm agreeable.

I didn't know, when I faxed my request on Friday for a few pills to get me through until I see my doctor, that no one was in the whole clinic to see it.

I didn't know just how bad the pain was, or how well the oxy was taking care of it.

So, it has been one heck of a last 36 hours, and I have 14 or so more hours to go.

I also know that I would not really be having withdrawals at least at this point in no pain med that I'm used to. That particular delight has not hit me at all: no buzzy head, loss of balance, dizzy, etc.

just pain. I am not going through withdrawals, I'm just hurting in all the places that the oxy was helping, even if only a little bit.

Today, I called twice to the clinic to see if they had some pills to get me through until I see my doc tomorrow morning ( and then somehow get the 35 miles to the pharmacy). Finally, at 4 pm they called. I was in bed with four ice gel paks under me, dark room, trying to survive. They said they would not give the meds to my husband, so I got up and rode with him down to the clinic.

Once there, I find they are giving me a script for 5 pills! I can't get to the pharmacy that late and as bad as I feel. We just drove home with a piece of paper.

I'll make it though. I'll cowboy up. And tough it out.

Speaking of "cowboy up," tonight I watched "8 Seconds" on TV, the first time I'd seen it. When it first came out, I wanted so badly to see it, but we were way out in the middle of nowhere on a ranch, and movie theaters were a faint memory. I'd heard of Lane Frost's death after he rode the bull, Redrock, at Cheyenne. The movie is his story.

I was so surprised at the great acting in the movie, even Stephen Baldwin starring as Tuff Hedeman. Luke Perry played the role of Lane. The movie kept me riveted for two hours, and completely took my mind off my central pain. But I cried so much at the end. Even though I knew the ending, the movie was just too real. And all the shots of the real Lane Frost at the end, about ten minutes of photographs and riding clips.

So, anyway, now I know. I hope this never happens again, this running out of meds. It's been pretty darn rugged.