hindsight is 20 20

Looking back now, I can see where it's been coming on for quite some time.

But I ignored it, figuring if that was my only problem, I can live with that.

I'm talking about the weakness in my hands and arms.

I knew that it was getting hard to open jar lids or bottle tops...that cutting anything like a block of cheese with a knife was getting difficult. That way of holding the knife lends itself to excerbating the weakness...really shows it up.

Now, my hands are weak all the time. Cutting a slice of cheese off a chunk is nigh impossible. Using a can opener? No can do. I've become much more aware of turning door knobs

Typing.

Holding a newspaper up to read it.

Or a book while lying in bed.

Holding the phone. When I'm done talking to someone, my hands and arms hurt so much.

It's not a stretch of the imagination and it didn't take an old Indian tracker to see this one coming. Because, when I regained consciousness after my injury, I felt the electricity zapping through my arms down into my hands, and down my legs into my feet. I prayed to not be rendered paralyzed and that prayer was answered, thank God.

After my horse wreck, I did have problems with my arms. If I used them, they'd get painfully itchy, and also have lancinating pains sparking here and there throughout them.

That horrendous, central nervous system itch went away for awhile. And it didn't seem like my hands were the main problem and I was able to continue on to some extent.

How I'm wired is that I will "do" and keep on "doing" far past signs of pain or weakness. So, there is no excuse for my weakness to progress, unless it is from the spinal cord. I mean, I am my own physical therapist and I keep as active every day to the extent that I can, and even past it, some.

So, today, the pain and weakness was very evident, and I had to avoid anything where I was using my hands.

Have you ever tried that? Of course, many of you know exactly what I mean. But when you can't type or wash the counters or pull weeds or hold a book or even a water hose, then there isn't much to help the time go by.

It's been a long day.

But...I am so thankful I have this appointment coming up. I'm so happy that someone looked at my imaging and saw something he could help. I can't wait until Sept. 16.

Followers of this blog have been down this road with me before. Same ol' story, different doctor. Different city.

I'm not jaded but I'm wary.
If I were cynical, I'd not arrange the trip.
But having been through what I have so far, it takes its toll in trust and faith in mankind.

Of the medical type.