Monday, December 31, 2007

His Eye is on the Sparrow

Some of things I'm thankful for in the last year:

Our new home and town
Getting the correct diagnosis in NY last January
Finding surgeons who know and care.
A glorious time together with my husband
Celebrating 34 years of marriage
Our son doing so well
One surgery down (one to go) in NY

The snow-blanketed mountain that watches over our town. It happens to be the largest in land mass in the lower 48.
The strength and faith and confidence that knowing Jesus has given me.
The love and support of so many good friends.
My family's love and support.
My old horse doing a good job and having a good home at our old ranch.
The 8 years we had with our little dog lost, and the fact that now he's no longer in pain.
New friends made online and here locally.
Fresh opportunities.
Good and friendly doctors here.

And oh, so much more. I am blessed beyond words.

Today, I kept my appointment with the physical therapist and when he first came in and I told him that I didn't think I was ready for therapy, he gave no argument and released me from his care for now. I told him that after my fusion and the halo is removed, I will be 100% committed to his plan for treatment and recovery.

I had a very rough night last night, just sort of walking the floors because when I'd lie down, I would feel such buzzing in my legs and a lot of spasming in my calves. Finally fell to sleep about 2:30 pm.

What a gloriously sunny day today and we went for a drive to our bigger, "shopping" town and oh, my! Once again, the scenic beauty which surrounds us never becomes banal or common to me. We drive through a National Scenic Area to go shopping! How wonderful is that?

I'll just have to stop and take a picture sometime for you!

Tomorrow begins a new year. What will it hold for each of us? It is a good thing that we really do not know. That is one thing I learned the hard way: none of us knows what the future holds and we may have grandiose plans or even simple dreams, and our lives can take a U-turn or a strange-looking exit and we then find ourselves on a road not of our choosing. Yet, once down that road, it can become evident that there are blessings around every corner, treasures we'd never have experienced if we'd stayed on the rutted, shoe-weary trail.

Another thing I've been thinking about lately is also connected to my injury almost four years ago. I have learned not to fear. Oh, I might worry or be anxious. But I do not fear. Somehow, that emotion has left me, hopefully for good. No matter what the message, I trust God will handle it for me. No matter what occurs, I have learned to almost immediately let it roll off of my shoulders.

That is not to say that I do not become overwhelmed at times, but there is a difference between fretting, over-stressing, anxiety, and the fear that things won't work out for the best. Perhaps it takes a few journeys down those unexpected pathways that lead through the barren desert for us to truly comprehend that we are cared for in every dimension....that His eye is on the sparrow and therefore, most surely, He cares even more for us. That every hair upon our heads is numbered in His eyes.

His breath carries the scent of ultimate love; infinite patience; unquestionable power and unspeakable compassion. Just knowing Jesus is on our side makes the next year, and the next and the next all worth anticipating with youthful happiness, like a child who builds in excitement for the summer, county fair. He is there ready to lead us through the storms and over the mountaintops, and the view from up there is heady. All we have to do is take that exit.

Happy New Year to all of my friends and to all who read these humble words. You need a strong shoulder to lean upon; arms to encircle you with safety and warmth; and promises that tomorrow...that next week or next year will bring a brighter day. Sigh...what a gift that is right there for the taking.


Anonymous said...

Happy New Year

Caroline said...

V, what beautiful thoughts! You are my hero. If only I had your gift for the written word. YOu so beautifully expressed how I feel too. The absence of fear. It's true. I feel it too. I so believe that the Lord has a plan in store for me far beyond my greatest dreams-and he does for you too.

Hugs to you and God's richest blessing to you in 2008.



By His Grace said...

thank you all. Caroline, it touches me deeply to know this about you, thanks for sharing it. There is real peace in being able to say, "God has a plan" when the world seems to tilt, and north becomes south or even west! Just hold on for the wild ride, huh?

thanks for being my friend.