Friday, May 29, 2009

changes in the wind

My dear dear friends,

First, I apologize for the mass email. My world has been an emotional whirlwind the last few days and it doesn't seem to be calming down! Is it tornado season, I wonder? We don't really get them here in WA, but sure seems like something's stirred up!

My surgery WAS scheduled for June 4th. (my craniocervical fusion to be done at The Chiari Institute in New York).

Right now, plans have changed. I am flying to NY earlier, on Sunday, May 31. Once there, there is more diagnostic testing I need to undergo and things need to be looked into more deeply. After all, I haven't been there since May 5 last year!

IF, after the testing, it is decided that I still need this surgery (or that it would be good for me), THEN I will be worked into the TCI surgical schedule. If not, then I will come home without it. So, I "might" have my surgery on June 4, I might have it on another date, I might not have it at all.

If you would pray one thing for me, it would be that God's Will be done in my life. That the decision made by the doctors will be God's Will, once and for all, either I have the surgery or I don't. No more yo-yo stuff! Well, unless yo-yo stuff IS God's will! ;-)

Just pray for those doctors to look deeply and thoroughly and in the end, the decision made is the best one for me.
I am finally at a true and honest point of accepting His will in all of this. Without emotion or tears about broken dreams. I'm finally there, and it feels really good to be at that spiritual place.

For those of you who are TCI patients, PLEASE understand this: nothing about my situation has anything to do with the surgical situation of any other patient at TCI. My situation is off the charts unique and just takes more looking into. I don't mind a more in-depth look! If you are receiving this, it is because you express concern and you know me, so you know my physical situation. It is very different than what is normally addressed at TCI, or anywhere. People usually don't live after suffering what happened to me, so doctors are unsure. I, on the other hand, am very sure that TCI and Dr. Bolognese is the place for me.

However, I will have some access to the internet for part of my trip so if you want to write, that's great. But just personal messages, please. And I WILL update you!

AND, if I owe you an email, I'm sorry. I might have to just delete all of my incoming messages and start over new! I don't think I can ever catch up! But it doesn't mean I don't care!

Thank you for being my loving family and friends and thanks for your prayers. I am blessed beyond words by knowing you, you are each a gift to me.