No new brace today...

I intended to go get my new brace today, but went to the first town, 35 miles away, with 17 miles left to go to where the orthotist is, and I just couldn't make it. I'll have to try another day.

I've sure been having some red flag symptoms and that just "gggrrr's" me! While sitting in the recliner, I often will fall into a painful sleep. Exactly the sort I had from my CTO months ago. I think it's the position of my head. And I'm thinking it's painful b/c I wake up not breathing. So, my brain hurts due to lack of O2.

My breath is all used up, all the way out, so when it wakes me up, it's a bit painful to get my breathing started again. I've had this before over the last couple of years, but much more so now. And swallowing. Pills sometimes just don't go down, only applesauce gets the muscles to move which will take the pill down, or food goes down, but takes a very long time to work its way down to my stomach.

I hate all of this so much. I do NOT want to go have the fusion, I don't want to have a halo for a year (I've heard now that my doctor is having people with osteo who are getting the fusions wear their haloes a year), and I don't want to risk a failed fusion. BUT, if things are going to progress ( swallowing and breathing difficulties are red-flag symptoms for brainstem compression), I know I may end up doing it anyway.

Asking for prayers.