Wednesday, October 29, 2008

A Snake's Belly

I feel lower than that.

My legs are just so weak, with the pain not that bad due to the pain meds. But the weakness, I feel like I've been poured into my skin...a snake skin about to be shed.

I've not been able to even walk outside at all today. The compost bin is 100 ft away, and I couldn't get out there, though I wanted to. Sunny, nice day. Just could hardly move all day.
The weakness is diffuse throughout my body, hands seem too weak to type.

Why today? Usually when I have something like this (called a paroxysm, or sudden onset of symptoms), I can pinpoint what caused it.

One thing that I think will sound perhaps unlikely. Last night, I had a nice time picking out the music for the playlist I put on this site. And then listening to it. Now I understand why people like IPOD and such, they can listen to just their favorites. It's addictive, intoxicating.

And as I listened, I sang. I used to sing on stage with a couple of different bands, one a cowgirl band I helped found, and another a bluegrass band. I loved singing, but now, it's something I have to avoid. I have found that the act of singing greatly affects the skull base area.

It might be the opening and shutting of the jaw, or the resonator effect of the skull when one sings, I don't know. But my singing and harmonizing last night, I feel, caused this today. I'll try not to give into the temptation of singing again.

Tonight, I have that bruised feeling on top of my head where I landed so long ago. It's odd that this should still happen, obviously it's damaged nerves. I move my hair and the movement of each hair hurts at the scalp. If I touch the scalp, it feels like I knocked my head into something recently.

I also have a patch on the outside of my right leg, at the calf. It feels like it has hot oil on it, a liquid warmth, about 6x8 inches. I know this is from the spasicity I have in that right leg which causes me to drag it (according to the neurologist) and to have such painful Charlie Horses at night there.

Now, I'll slither off back to the recliner.

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