Saturday, November 17, 2007

5 PM Saturday night

And I'm feeling so sad. I'm really crying, just feeling so sad about leaving my husband and my home in less than 12 hours. We've had such a lovely 7 months or so here and now, this whole surgery thing seems to be interrupting that. I rely upon him for so many things and now, I'm leaving alone tomorrow on a journey that, well, yes, is scary.

I'm know I'm depositing into my health account, this surgery. That I will be healthier and able to enjoy our retirement later on. But right now, it feels like a huge, lonely step. I have to get ahold of myself.

This is where and when we lean upon the Lord the most, when we travel down that lonesome road devoid of our loved ones, the ones we depend upon.

I remember a little story my Dad used to tell about his being a young boy and walking home from town alone. It was night-time and dark, and as he climbed Barnard Hill, the moon created weird, mottled shadows on the road at his feet. He saw monsters in every shaded bush and looming birch. The prickles ran up and down his back and he kept looking over his shoulder to see if he was being followed. Suddenly, right above his head, an owl hooted very loud, and that little boy ran with all of his might toward the lamplight in the window of his home and safety.

His fear was so strong that it was remembered vividly when that boy was 80 years old.

I feel like that youngster walking that road tonight. But I'm not alone and I know that. Not only do I have many friends and many prayers being said for me, I have the Lord holding my Hand.

I probably won't be writing here for a couple of weeks, my gentle readers. When I do, I'll recount all about the surgery and all the blessings that befell me on this trip!

God bless you all.
With love.

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