But I wanted to say hi to everyone anyway!
Today we went to another town where my husband got an epidural for his back pain. It went well. I rode in the truck with my Aspen on, as the CTO these days seems to cause such "painful brain sleep." I don't know what else to call it. I think this is one of my worst things to deal with, it's so all-inclusive, brain, body, even spirit seems to be going down that long, dark tunnel I wrote about last month.
Well, today, with the Aspen on, I had the same effect. And I figured out one way to describe it. I think it feels like a post-concussive brain. I had it all the time we were driving in the morning, and then all the way home. I felt SO bad when we finally got home that I went right to bed, just thinking I'd lay there and take the weight of my head off of my neck. I didn't intend to sleep, but I did fall into a 2 hour sleep where I woke up continually, it seemed, coming awake enough to feel the pain in the brain (yet, not a headache) and trying to make a decision on if I should get up or not. But getting up seems too hard, so I drift back to sleep, only to wake up moments later and have it all happen over again.
Oddly, however, tonight, I feel great. Once I shook off the whole brain thing after I'd awakened, I started organizing everything I'll need in terms of information for my trip to NY for surgery in a week and a half. A good friend who will be there at the same time getting her own surgery had sent to me via email all the hospital, motel, taxi, airport information and has sent to me a neat binder that has sleeves for index cards, something she uses for her trips there for surgery.
So, this evening, I went through all of those emails and others and wrote down all the information, plus my own contact numbers and feel really good for having a good start at finishing this project. Then, I took Quincy for a walk to the back of our property, which is uphill all the way. From up there, the view at twilight was incredible, with far-off ranch-lights twinkling and fresh evening air. It seems so odd to have felt so miserable all day, only to have it all turn around and feel so good now.
hello and hugs to all my readers! And Happy November!