Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Bitter sweet and semi sweet

Today was one of those roller coaster days. Seemed like the trolley car I was in was rumbling on the downhills abit more than teetering on the apex, but it's all just that spice of life.

I was quite emotional all day. I did find out that Shadow is fine and in fact, very happy. Which makes me happy...but makes me cry.

I found out I have surgery lined up, which makes me happy in all ways.

I am pretty sure I've lost a very good friend somehow, which makes me sad...and confuses me. I have done nothing to cause any division between us, but it seems that since I have moved, she doesn't have time for me, is too busy, but I feel that is only part of the story and something else is going on. That leaves a big, empty hole in my heart. This friend was there for me for hours every day after I broke my neck and was suffering from my brain injury. I think of her every day and miss her. This makes me cry.

Then again, the spurs my husband is making now are incredible. This makes him very happy and that makes me very happy and proud. And I took our little dog for a walk through the pine forest across the road today. I loved it, walking the deer trails and thinking of how my life has been completely comprised of trails. Quincy enjoyed the time so much. Tail curled up over his back, the little black mutt-dog was very happy.

I also made semi-sweet chocolate chip cookies. A day that ends with a chocolate chip cookie ends with a happy bow on it. For, all things considered, life is what you make of it. What you make your mind up to do about it. If you decide to mope about things or your situation, then it is a choice you've made. But if you decide to see what was good, no matter how small, you will see the blessings of the day. Like a chocolate chip cookie! think I'll go get one and then go to bed.


Cleo said...

God gives each of us lessons. For some, the lessons we are going through are just too tough to face. Early on I, too lost a good friend. She did take the time to tell me that being around me was just too scary. She could not let herself believe that her life could be changed so drastically in the blink of an eye. It was just too painful for her.

Pray for your friend and I will too.

Love ya kiddo! --Cleo

By His Grace said...

Cleo, you are right on once again, my friend. Yes, please pray for her, and thanks for your prayers. I heard from another friend this morning who read this post and who also had the same circumstance happen to her. I guess people just need more space or tire of someone...or... who knows? It's hard for me to understand because my friends are so important to me. I don't require much, but just being in touch once in awhile and knowing the other person is out there, I find that important.

I'll pray for you and your friend, too. And healing hearts!

loveya, too! Your words are very poignant and meaningful to me right now!