Thursday, October 11, 2007

Telling myself not to worry, but...

something's going on again in my chest...and it's not going away.

Right after my injury, I felt this flip flopping or fluttering in my chest...right in the center. Anyone with heart palpitations, can you tell me if they feel like this? Or are they something different and over on the left side of the chest?

Anyway, I had this 3 years ago and was sent thru the gamut of cardiac tests, wore a Holter for God-knows-how-long, and pressed the button for "events" 20x a day, and lo and behold, the readings came out that nothing was going on in my heart. There were no recorded arrythmias or palpiations. Docs just said it was anxiety.

Today, I have no anxiety, I know that for a fact. But this flip flopping has started up again...just had an episode that lasted about 5 seconds...a long time, at least to me. Any ideas?

Seems to me it's brainstem stuff...I hate the thought of going thru a cardiologist again. Don't want to wear a Holter when I figure it won't register anything. I don't have a good neurologist (the one I was sent to here looks about 25 and she doesn't listen to me...I have osteoporosis and a pre-condition for multiple myeloma, and I told her I did but could tell she wasn't listening...then she prescribed Topamax for me and at home, I read the label and it said to not take it if you have bone disease! My hematologist/oncologist agreed: Don't take it! I just don't have any faith in her). I wrote to my surgeon in NY last Saturday about this but no reply yet. I am having trouble with my emails coming and going, so tomorrow, I'll fax a letter to him. does scare me, a little.

No wonder I'm so weak and tired. God has a plan, I know He'll reveal to me which direction I need to go next.

maybe I shouldn't blog late at night when everything looks the worst, huh? I should be like Scarlett O'Hara: "I'll think about it tomorrow, when I'm stronger."

On that note, off to bed I go. Thanks to all who read here. I feel somehow supported by your
scanning eyes.


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