Saturday, October 6, 2007

Up at 2 with intense pain

It's from the tethered cord, I know. I was in the midst of a very long, drawn-out dream when the burning pain in my calves woke me up. I tried to ignore it, but I know this means I need to get up to go to the bathroom. It does not hurt as bad as a spasm, or charley horse, but it dang well hurts, yet I don't want to get up because I know the walk to the bathroom will be painful and I'll have trouble with balancing my way there.

I also realize that I have leaked quite a bit of urine during the 3 hours I've been in bed. This is another TC symptom. It's not a letting go with the correct muscles and voiding, it's a leaking and sometimes it's worse than others. I knew I had to get up and change anyway, so I got everything done and now at the computer. Waiting for the Norco to kick in and the burn to stop. I pray.

I have considered whether I wanted to add the urine leakage in my notes here, do people really want to read this? And I do worry that some of my friends who are "well" might think I dwell too much on my health, that this blog is a sign of some obsession and is not healthy.

That may or may not be true, but I know that I am only telling half the story here. It would be an even longer, more boring litany if I recorded all that I deal with. My "sick" friends reading this know what I mean, don't you! I'm sorry you do. But it IS a blessing to have e-friends like Zoe, zipperhead, Scott and others who do relate to these words. And then my friends and family who have written and said they feel closer to me for having read my updates, those comments really add a little icing to my day.

Back to the TC. I cannot wait to get this process done and have a date for the surgery. As you can see, a release of my spinal cord at the base of my spine would have to give some wonderful relief. I'm praying so, and praying that the "hoops" and red tape up ahead will be Godly-expedited. I must remember to seek His counsel and to await His timing.


Scott said...

Oh, I hope the surgery works well for you!

Yeah, even though I haven't had what you had, I've been through a nasty disease and the even nastier medicine to stop it from killing me. So now I can empathize with you and my future patients so much better than I could have before getting sick!

Pain is not fun. Thankfully, there were precious few times during my ordeal that my pain ever hit a ten! Though it sounds like you hit ten pretty regularly. Do you take pretty strong narcotics? I know I hate narcotics because they constipate me so badly!

Zoe said...

"Do people really want to read this?" hehe- It's funny how the loss of bladder control gets people's attention!

While I always accepted my tendency to leak as just -one of those things- (certainly minor in comparison to the pain, ect- ) it is no doubt a clear indicator of the body trying to make an announcement- "HeeelP!"

- And maybe? it's something that even healthy people can stretch their imaginations to conceive-
and be horrified by the possibility-

I know all too well the tendency of people to 'encourage' us to think on things other than our health- easy to say- but hard to do- especially when it's waking you up mid- sleep to demand even hours of your much needed rest.

I commend you my friend, for braving it all and going the extra mile. (day and night)

((hugs you)) zoe

By His Grace said...

Thanks so much, Scott and Zoe!
Scott, your blog shows that you have been through SO much, and you are an incredible inspiration to us all!! It's hard to compare sufferings and none of us want to be in that race anyway...but my friend, you have logged a lot of miles around the track yourself.

That's the great thing about this blogging, we can all learn and inspire each other.

Zoe, right on! and you are another example of tremendous "courage under fire," my friend!

Zipperhead said...

Hello my friend. hope you're doing ok today. just wnated to send a hug. miss you. sending prayers for good rest tonight

Anonymous said...

hello and prayers for your surgery. i left you a blog back in sept entries. read it when you get a chance! i look forward to hearing more.
krista parks

By His Grace said...

Hi zipperhead! Thanks for writing.
I'm doing a lot worse, think that brainstem compression stuff that you know so well is really amping up. Breathing issues, diaphragm stuff and very painful thinking and feeling like I"m on another planet all add up to just a blah day today!! I know you understand. I think of you often and I'll email soon. Love you!

Krista, thanks for writing, I'm so excited you found me!! I can't wait to learn more about you and your situation too. I left a comment for you back on your first comment, and I emailed you. Hope you got it.

By His Grace (I'm alive, I'm walking and talking, and relatively sane!)

BetsyP said...

Thankfully, after TC surgery, the bladder stuff is one of the first things to get better! Its one thing you can count on. I also had burning pain in my hips that would wake me up from sleep. I would even dream about pain. I haven't had that pain since. Even with all the back problems they discovered, I don't have back pain now, at least it is under control. So, my friend, there is help. I just wonder if it would be of help to not lay completely flat, if you had your bed on an incline. Maybe putting the head of the entire bed up on blocks.
My parents have done this with their bed, because both have gastric reflux. When you are laying in the bed, you don't sense that you are on an incline.
Its not like that huge wedge of pillows you have seen me sleep on!!! ;)) The incline might relieve some pressure at the base of your skull and shoulders.
Also wondering if a muscle relaxant might help too. I wish I had known about Zanaflex much earlier. You definately will want to go to NY with that already proscribed. Hang in there, I know the road seems really long to wait, but it will come.
By Grace,

By His Grace said...

BetsyP, thanks!! Again, you have such good advice and I had forgotten about raising the head of the bed. Think it might help Pete too! I'm going to do that tonight. And it IS very encouraging that the urinary issues are the first to go with the TCS. NOW< just gotta get that facility to get the surgery lined up and scheduled...I'll keep ya'll posted.

Thanks, BP!